![]() ![]() She was told at the outset that “I don’t break my toys”. At the same time, I can tell you that she has used “yellow” a couple times 3 years ago, and she has never needed to red out. And remember, there is nothing wrong, so reding out is not a big deal. Yellow for “I like this but it’s a bit too intense at the moment, keep going” to “Red” which in our world is simply to “stop now, check in and see if we should continue”. I am responsible for keeping her on the edge and not taking her past her limit.Īt the beginning of our sceneing, once she had been claimed, and even to this day after being collared, she has safe words. ![]() I know when I am pushing her limits and I know when she is on the edge. The result of having over 1,000 iterations of our kinky sexuality expressed lives as lived is that we know each other pretty well. The upshot of that is that we play almost daily. We both wanted to live in a dynamic that was highly sexualized. This is something that was established even before we met. At first, as we were getting related and learning about each other’s habits and routines, we had cause to have a conversation around this idea that “there is nothing wrong” and once we established that as a context for our relationship, there have been few if any circumstances where we would have to address each other from a place of mistrust.Īnother aspect of our dynamic is that we are both sex forward and kink forward. We do not allow stories to enter into the discussion. So if one of us sees or says something that raises concern, that awareness arises in context that there is nothing wrong so we can deal with what’s actually so. We also hold an especially important context of our dynamic at all times. That requires that each of us respond to any event, thought, statement or suspicion that there is something perhaps out of sorts by addressing it immediately. One aspect of our dynamic is that we both operate with the full understanding that each of us is 100% responsible for the health of the dynamic. ![]() The question that consideration raises though is how do I know I have her consent? Its not like we go through a daily scene with me asking her with every action I take if I have her consent. For me to be fully self expressed in my sexuality, I need her to operate as my uninhibited collared slut that gifts me her submission with her consent. In our situation, I am a sensual sadist, and my partner is a submissive masochist. Negotiating in pick up-play for instance, requires at the very minimum, that consent around hard limits is discussed and agreed to, but what about consent in a 24/7 TPE dynamic? How is consent managed where one person gifts their power to another. On the other hand, simple things, especially now that the nation is opening up again and we are starting to hear about clubs and play spaces opening up again, engaging with kinksters in a public space requires consent. From 1,000 feet away, that is certainly true. Without consent, many of the activities we engage in might in fact be considered crimes. It is only inside of consent that the activities we engage in can occur. ![]()
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